Ci Ci's Pizza: I Hate That I Love You

Buffets shouldn't make me as excited as they do. But, seeing as they combine awesome people watching and Food (with a capital "F" because buffet food is so glorious), I just can't swerve away from the comforting, warm glow of neon signs boasting a $9.00 all-you-can-eat meal. Undoubtably, the best buffet is Ryan's Steakhouse-their warm tortillas with luxurious nacho cheese make me weep. And one time my brother got a huge heap of butter and dived in, thinking it was mashed potatos--that's how excited and dopey you can get there.



But in terms of people watching, Ci Ci's Pizza is a shining beacon of wonder. If you've never been to a Ci Ci's, here's what it pretty much is: imagine a Roman vomitorium, filled with orb-like figures of humans waddling about in pure bliss, basking in the aromas and tastes of all you can eat pizza, pasta, salad, and dessert for $4.99. FOUR DOLLARS AND NINETY-NINE CENTS. And you can request (shall I say, demand?) ANY pizza you want-macaroni and cheese, popcorn, bobcat-anything. The food isn't THAT spectacular, but the sheer amount of everyone's go-to-fat-kid-meal (pizza) is.

Ci'Ci's Pizza: The pinnacle of human civilization

But the last time that I visited this tasty carnival, I was disappointed.


My boyfriend (the one who introduced me to Ci Ci's-the old manager there knows him by name) and I went there on a whim last Friday, even though we're supposed to be dieting together ("It's Friday," I reasoned to my thighs). When we walked in I immediately got a pit-of-terror-feeling in my stomach. There he was. Sitting and smiling, holding a bright green weiner dog in his hand-the balloon guy was there. Nights with the balloon guy are always rough. Balloons=kids, and kids=screaming, crying, running, and spilling sizzling marinara all over my legs. But I soldiered on to the salad section of the buffet, while my boyfriend skipped (literally, I'm guessing) straight for the pizza.


When I finished my vegan wonder of iceberg lettuce, ranch dressing, and bacon bits, I heard a worker yell that bar-b-q pizza was out on the buffet. Ci Ci's bar-b-q pizza makes me want to die because when I eat it, I know nothing in life will ever reach that level of awesomeness. Unfortunately, about half of the buffet beasts also feel that way. So I ran up to get the last two pieces. My mouth watered as I neared the buffet, patiently waiting in line, eyes widened. And right when I'm about to reach for it, woosh-two little scavanger kids run up and take the last two pieces. Before I got a chance to strike down my mighty fist of anger onto their little toadheads, they were off-like bandits in the night! I walked back to our table in a daze of weariness and gloom, and mournfully ate my spinach pizza.

But my sad tale shouldn't sway your decision to visit Ci Ci's. Because, could a buffet get more awesome than this?: It's across the hallway from International Sports Center. You can eat 87 pieces of pizza while staring at people on elliptical machines. And, really, that's all that probably matters in this life or any other one.