At Least I Don't Listen to Boston.

I have my suspicions about hipsters.

Part of the whole "thing" about being a hipster is that they must listen to music ironically, which has never made much sense to me. Why would you want to pretend that you like a song that is awful? And, unfortunately for my hipster status, most of the songs that they like ironically, I like genuinely.

Here's a short list of the kinds of songs that the cool kids PRETEND to like that I ACTUALLY like. I realize that doing this is probably going to lead to my demise in any sort of legitimate social circle. But I just really don't mind yacht rock.

"Gloria" by Laura Branigan.
"Push It to the Limit" from the Scarface soundtrack.
"Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey.
"Family Man" by Hall and Oates
"Jump" by Van Halen.

Etc. Etc. I have extremely well-developed music taste and enough "street cred" to get by with ironically liking those songs. But I don't. I just think they're decent singles that can get stuck in my head. I'd never get away at a hipster party because if these songs came on (ironically!), I'd know the lyrics. And then it would become all too clear that my hair isn't fluxus enough, my jeans not skinny enough, and my nose not coke-filled enough. So I'll just hang out at my house and listen to Phil Collins and clean my room for now.