MOM! WHERE ARE THE GAUZE PADS!? MOOOMMM!

As I write this, my jaws are exploding. Literally. The tendon that keeps the bottom jaw to the top of the mouth or whatever is currently splattering across the wall in front of me. I'm sure I could bring in a blood splatter expert and they'd say "Oh, it looks like her jaw exploded when she was at the computer."

I HAD MY WISDOM TEETH OUT AND IT WAS THE WORST THING EVER.

I have a huge tattoo on my calf, I've had 6 stitches in my thumb, nerve blocks in my hand, and a concussion; but this is by far the most excrutiating pain I've ever experienced. I did have pain medication, but they only gave me 12 pills and of course I took them all already, I wasn't a dumbass and, like, spaced them out like I was supposed to. That would just be stupid.

So now I'm living off of Ibuprofyn, ice cream, Pennicillin, Stouffer's macaroni and cheese, and cigarettes that I'm not supposed to be smoking. Oh and lots of gauze pads. I really, really shouldn't be smoking. It increases your chance of dry socket a ton. Apparently it also increases your risk for cancer, a fact I did not know!

Last night I looked in the mirror at my swelling (which has mainly affected the left side of my face) and started sobbing, "I LOOK LIKE QUASIMODO!" Even though my mom gently pointed out that Quasimodo had a hump on his back, not his face. I am more akin to the Elephant Man. Thank you, Mom. But she really has been a pretty good nurse. She normally won't let me eat ice cream or buy Chef-Boy-R-Dee ravioli, but she's let me do both without a terse comment! And she even let me call the doctors to see if I could get another prescription for pain medications, though it didn't work out too well (the nurse just told me to take 800 mg of Ibuprofyn with mashed potatos, that worthless slag). And my boyfriend, Greg, took expert care of me last night and even tried to snuggle with me to make me feel better even though I had the general demeanor of a wolverine.

So I have had pretty good caretakers, which has been nice. I think I might go take advantage of one of them (my mom, Greg is at work) and make her get me an ice pack.