Woompava, Woompava, Boiler Up!

I'm not against team spirit. I think a moderate amount is pretty healthy and good for forging a sense of community, especially in college when thousands of kids are feeling pretty lost (and plus, you choose the college you go to, so you must have some sort of pride in it). But Purdue has taken it to a ridiculous level in this past week. I moved in last Saturday amid cheers. Not from my parents for moving out (although they might have been cheering, too). Not to myself for moving on to this exciting chapter in my life. No, I moved in to Meredith Hall amid cheers of Boiler Gold Rush team leaders. As we pulled into the parking lot, they started doing a peppy chant about how happy they were to help me move. They asked me if I was PUMPED UP for PURDUE! In the first five minutes of my being at Purdue University, I was already in the environment of a professional wrestling stadium.

It became very clear, very fast, that I was in trouble.

See, I moved in a week early to participate in Boiler Gold Rush, a week long orientation program. I thought it would be pretty relaxed, full of club call outs, doing Boiler-related crafts, and talking about ourselves in fun ice breakers.

I was right about the ice breakers, except the fun part. I love talking about myself and finding out other people's tastes. Unfortunately, other people's tastes seem to center around their hair color and their agriculture majors. I had nothing in common with the people in my group (although some of them liked the White Stripes, which is obviously the correct opinion). It was awkward and humid on that first night. And then came the team chants.

The dorms were separated into themes and we had to compete against each other for, well, nothing except bragging rights. And my dorm's theme was breakfast cereal. BREAKFAST CEREAL. And not only was I surrounded by pictures of Fruit Loops, we had chant with enthusiasm ABOUT cereal.


To the tune of "I Kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry.

That's the punchline, really. I was going to elaborate on this, but there really isn't anything else to say. So I basically quit BGR after the second day. I hid in my room and watched episode after episode of House and let the calls from my BGR team leader go straight to voicemail. But even then I wasn't completely safe. The Boiler Express, a little train vehicle that rides around campus that I rode when I was in kindergarten, would circle my dorm every ten minutes until 11:30 at night, honking its horn and carrying kids that were VERY excited to be Boiler-ing up.

So the past week has been a bizarre, black and gold circus. And I have watched, annoyed, smoking cigarettes. And I think that really probably says a lot about me. Not that I smoke cigarettes, but that whole watching from the outside thing. And I am much happier in that place then playing on a moon bounce and flirting with RAs.

BOILER UP!